This Pirate had a Walking Cane, Not an Eye Patch
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Remember in the early 2000’s when everybody was stealing their music from Limewire and other music-pirating programs? In 2005, the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) sued a woman named Gertrude Walton (who died the previous year at age 83) – claiming that she had illegally downloaded over 700 songs. Watson’s daughter claimed that her mother didn’t even own a computer, and the charges were dropped (sketchy, much, RIAA?). However, there were 20,000 similar court cases – with defendants ranging from 12-year-old girls to families that didn’t even know HOW to pirate music.
But these charges are no laughing matter – people who commit music piracy can face fees of up to $150,000 PER SONG.
Fear the Fear
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Seems like a lot of Americans don’t get the concept of scary entertainment. Austin Aitken sued NBC in 2005 for $2.5 million, claiming that he suffered injury and great pain after watching an episode of “Fear Factor.” Apparently watching contestants devour rats made him sick, and he threw up and smashed into a doorway. Sounds like a reasonable case for $2.5 million to me! Just kidding. No it does’t. The case was dismissed.
It’s Not My Fault I Look Famous
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Remember that crazy guy that kinda looks like Michael Jordan, so he sued him?? In 2006, Allen Heckard sued Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil night for a show-stopping $832 MILLION. Heckard claimed that his resemblance to Jordan caused people to stop him in the streets asking if he was the basketball player – causing him defamation (?) permanent in jury (?) and emotional pain (?). The case was thrown out, and the judge reportedly said: “Listen, Michael is a good-looking dude, bro. Take the compliment and get the hell out of my court room.” Not really. But probably.