When I Grow Up, I Want to Be…
Ah, the dreams of childhood. Who didn’t want to be a fireman, or an actor, or an astronaut?
As we grow older, however, many of us find that our careers become dictated by paying the bills and supporting a family, and not by chasing our dreams. While most of us may end up in desk jobs or repetitive corporate gigs, we might just be envious of the people that seem to have cooler professions with higher salaries. But did you know that the most money doesn’t always come from the most desirable places?
Urine farmers, sewer divers, and embalmers are just a few of the dirty jobs on this list that make BANK when it comes to payday. And these are just the tip of the dirty iceberg…
Source: Twitter @adastrame
Get ready to see some of the grossest jobs that pay tons of money.
Gastroenterologist
Source: Twitter @ihomcps1
These are the doctors that get to deal with all things digestion, often resulting in patients needing to talk about questionable gas or bowel movements. Most patients are either small children or the elderly, and not everything can be cured with prunes.
This certainly isn’t a glamorous job as you explore your patients’ intestines, but it can definitely afford you a glamorous lifestyle, with salaries upwards of $260,000 or even $340,000 in solo practices.
Port A Potty Cleaners
Source: Twitter @kwqcnews
Most of us can’t even bear to use port a potties unless emergency strikes, not to mention having to clean out the grime and muck of hundreds of others who use them. And given their popularity at concerts and sporting events, these babies are never pretty looking.
Still, leaving your dignity at home and becoming a professional port a potty cleaner could land you between $25,000 and $50,000, according to reports.
Sewer Inspectors
Source: Twitter @RidgefieldPress
While we’d like to pretend that city undergrounds aren’t filled with rats, cockroaches, bugs, and all other kinds of muck, the truth is that sewers are often very dirty places. So imagine climbing down into them and having to inspect the pipes and tubes that serve as the foundation of most modern cities.
You think your waste disappears after you flush it down the toilet? Think again, and then thank one of the many dedicated men and women that walk, trudge, or even swim and dive through your slime to keep our plumbing and heating working just fine. But don’t thank them too much, because they could be taking home over $60,000 a year.
Embalmer
Source: Twitter @PFNewsUK
When your only customers are dead, you know that the job can’t be too pretty. After we die and before we appear all nice and pretty at our wakes or funerals, a lot of yucky stuff goes on, including draining our bodies of gasses and liquids, not to mention wiring and gluing mouths and eyes shut.
Fancy massaging a dead body before dressing it and putting on makeup? Then sign up and go to embalming school, where you’ll later make over $43,000 annually in the business, not to mention close to six figures if you also run a funeral home.
Plumbers
Source: Twitter @kensplumbinggvl
Feel like unclogging other people’s waste? Then head on over to become a plumber, because you could make around $45,000–$50,000 dollars a year, compared to the national average of less than $30,000.
Crime Scene Cleaners
Source: Twitter @mcilwaso01
Don’t cry over spilt milk, or spilt blood and gore in this case. Professional cleaners employed to clean up nasty (and often scary) crime scenes can make over $75,000 a year. That might just be worth all the nightmares!
Garbage Collectors
Source: Twitter @EsssRaw
Even the smell of a garbage truck is enough to make me nauseated, but garbage collectors stand around it all morning. Between the long hours, exposure to the elements, and having to constantly deal with the smell, look, and feel of other people’s trash, this doesn’t sound like a job most people dream about. But garbage collectors can make over $50,000 a year. In New York City, some trash collectors even make over $140,000 annually.
Landfill Gas Operators
Source: Twitter @wsoctv
As if collecting the garbage weren’t bad enough, imagine working all day surrounded by mountains and valleys of trash. Landfill gas operators are tasked with safely removing the methane buildup at garbage dumps, and they spend all day surrounded by rodents and countless harmful bacteria. On the plus side, they can make well over six figures.
Coal Miner
Source: Twitter @Joe_Gerth
Considering all the risks and abuse miners have faced throughout history, this might not be an ideal job for those with the luxury to choose their profession. Facing disease, death, or just getting trapped in the mines every time they go down the shaft, the risks might be worth it since miners can make from $70,000 to over $100,000 for their work.
Urine Farmer
Source: Twitter @CharleneAmbali
I can only imagine a little kid saying, “Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a urine farmer!”
Turns out that, especially within the hunting industry, urine farming is a thing. Farmers keep herds of deer and elk in enclosed areas and collect their urine underneath. They then bottle and sell the urine, which can earn them up to $90,000 a year.
Proctologists
Source: Twitter @US_MCFCfan
It’s no surprise that most doctors make bank. So if you’re going to make the money anyway, wouldn’t you maybe opt for a more desirable field of medicine?
Not proctologists, the professionals dedicated to colorectal surgery, the colon, the rectum, and the anus. Sounds pleasant, doesn’t it? These medical health professionals can make over $380,000 after becoming board certified.
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